Confusing

I have now reached that road in my life that seems like a dead end. I feel so so depressed, like I want to shout to the world that I am tired and confused. Actually, I could be wrong you know? Like, this could be just laziness kicking in and consuming the very whole of me. I didn’t know this could be possible, I mean I don’t even want to think or do anything, except for surviving each day I  think. My spirit is low, I don’t know what happiness even means anymore. I feel like a robot doing regular things but not actually thinking or planning or even feeling. I used to be very happy, high spirited to be exact. In fact, if I am to describe my self, number one in my rank is that, I am a HAPPY person. Sadly enough, I don’t know me anymore. There are just too many factors pulling me down, making me sad and now the happy me is completely defeated. No juice, no juice to push my self up.

Hmp, I hate those factors affecting me, they are too personal to shrug off. Why, I even consider them as my fortress, my guide, my happiness. Wow, now this is what it feels like being dropped like a hot potato. Trust, what trust?! Such a waste of emotion, such a waste of time. I hope nobody feels exactly the way I feel right now. I wouldn’t wish this not even to an enemy, whom I don’t have thank God! Otherwise, surviving won’t even be possible for me. Anyway, boohoo life is miserable……….

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Photo by Panoramio

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