Busy Life

This is my life, Joy, Pain, Happiness, and sometimes my life is in a state of being busy. A state of being busy can be weird sometimes, because when I was in this state, I was not well aware of my emotions. It is like, time seems to fly  by so fast and I tend to become a robot, just doing the same thing over and over again, and in a hurry too, because of the deadline.  I do not exactly know if it is a good thing, but at least my life is not redundant.

I have been very busy for the past two weeks, I miss blogging, I miss browsing the net, and for some weird reason, I miss Facebook. It is not that I do Facebook everyday, but you know, if I am not busy at least I can check out  my account anytime I want. I had to juggle tasks, taking care of my son, taking care of my husband and the small store as well. Wheh!, I am just super glad that I can finally rest for a few days until my next project. Anyway, I am not complaining, in fact, I am appreciative of what is given to me right now.

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Emotions

Emotions can be oh so deep!

Part of being human is to feel enormous amount of pain. In my case, pain when it comes to relationship. I can not seem to handle mine at the moment. Maybe, because my mind is clouded, my heart is distorted or I am simply shattered. I so want to give up. I have been hurt and troubled for these past years, I guess I am just fed up. I feel weird now, I am likened to a robot. It is as if, I do not care anymore. How can I possibly see things clearly when I am in so much pain. He pretends as if things are okay. They are not okay, I am not okay. How I wish I can just shut down or change into an okay mode. Switch On, Switch Off that is. It is not that simple anymore. I cannot leave though, there is too much at stake. I do not want to cause hurt. So, the reality is even if I have to suffer, I have to accept it, this is my life, this is my reality.

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